On God’s side, swimming against the tide In a telephonic interview, Dr. Abraham Mathew (Dr. Manoj) and his wife Lovely spoke to Manoj Sunny about their life as missionaries, their convictions and the purpose that drives them. Dr. Abraham, M.D. works as an Associate Professor of Gastroenterology, division of Internal Medicine, in the Milton S. Hershey Medical Center of Pennsylvania State University, USA. Lovely is an Engineer with a Master’s degree in Engineering Science. Dr. Manoj as he is known in Jesus Youth circles, is a member of the Jesus Youth International team and the Youth Ministry Co-ordinator of the Syro-Malabar diocese of Chicago. He is also a renowned speaker who has preached over 300 retreats. Dr. Manoj and Lovely are blessed with five children: Anjali, Johnny, Amala, Amaris and Alphonsa aged 1 to 11 years. Some excerpts:- Q: Could you say something about your first encounter with Jesus and how you came to be a part of Jesus Youth? Dr. Manoj: When I joined the Kottayam Medical College in 1987 I became part of a Protestant fellowship. I had a lot of questions and gradually moved away from the Catholic Church. A couple of years later, a friend of mine in medical school returned with a newfound love for the Church after attending the National Catholic Charismatic Convention in 1989. She introduced me to some priests and active leaders in the CCR. I also got in touch with some of the Jesus Youth there who invited me to a retreat. They gave me the conviction that I needed to do something, so we started the first prayer group in our medical college which is still vibrantly active. My leap into ministry is linked with a vision I had about the wedding feast of Jesus and His bride, the Church. Amidst the crowd of guests in the vision, I searched for myself in vain. Suddenly, I realize that I am one of the empty jars placed just outside the wedding hall. Even as someone fills me with water, I spot a woman and a man (whom I recognize as Mary and Jesus) walking towards me. Jesus blesses me and the water turns into wine. It strikes me that my being outside the hall relates to my position at that time in relation to the Catholic Church - literally on the doorstep. Then Jesus tells me that I’m “placed there with a purpose”. I then enter the wedding hall, carried in by the people. After this experience, I began to meet with other students and leaders in the ministry and very soon became active in Jesus Youth. Q: You were part of one of the first Jesus Youth missionary trips to North India. Tell us about it. Dr. Manoj: I had gone on two mission outreaches to Tamil Nadu and Orissa earlier. Later some of my Jesus Youth friends introduced me to Fr. Dheeraj Sabu IMS, who had dreams for the mission and was looking for a team to take on a trip to North India. Like Jesus and his disciples, Fr. Dheeraj and twelve of us set out to Uttar Pradesh. It was a great experience and we felt the Lord was truly alive. Incidentally, two of us (Santhosh and the Late Wilson Poulose) later joined the Santvana Community and another team member Mathew, a doctor is now preparing for priesthood. I think the North Indian mission actually took off from there. Q: How did God lead you to marriage? Could both of you share your dreams and convictions regarding family life? Dr. Manoj: It’s right to say that God led me to marriage, because I hadn’t planned for it. When I met Lovely, the first thing I told her was my conviction that I should live a life according to the Scriptures; that my life is one with a purpose to which I’m committed. The second thing was the issue of abortion and contraception, for I totally disapproved of both. I was glad to see that she supported my stand 100%. The third was my dream of having a large family and she opened up to the idea though it must have been difficult for her. We enjoy our 5 children and cannot imagine a situation where any one of them is not there. Lovely: I was not particular about marrying an engineer or doctor. It was more important for me to know what the man I would marry wanted in life than what or who he was. I wanted a person whose first priority was Jesus. Secondly, since we were going back to a place (USA) where at that time there was no active fellowship, I wanted someone who would be strong enough to keep fanning the flame within me. Thirdly, I wanted someone with leadership potential. I saw all of this in Manoj. I also shared his attitude towards life. Being pro-life is not just about being anti-abortion. It is about being open to life and to God’s will for your life. Q: Manoj, in a materialistic world, yours is quite an unconventional family. And you, Lovely, a qualified engineer, quit your job to stay at home with the children. Why did both of you choose to be different? Dr. Manoj: Many times I have felt, “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a real blessing”, as Psalm 127 says. “The sons a man has when he is young are like arrows in a soldier’s hand”. I think that one of the things people take away from the equation about children is what they bring to you. We think about what we need to give them and tend to leave out what they bring to us. Many are worried that they may not be able to provide for their children. I’d give them all I have rather than all they can get. In fact we are indebted to our children for what they give us. Sure, as parents our resources are limited. We have learnt to depend on the resources of our heavenly Father, for they are infinite. Moreover, when we think of sharing Jesus with the next generation, we know it cannot happen without young people deeply rooted in Christ. And where can such young men and women grow in holiness other than in committed Christian families? And just as our kids are a blessing to us, we’d like them to be a blessing to their generation. Lovely: Quitting my career was one of the hardest choices I made. We both prayed over this and decided that I would quit working and stay at home with the children. I realized that being with the children while they are young and vulnerable is important. I would never get back this time with them, whereas I could take up a career any time later on if I wanted to and if it was God’s will. Though it was a struggle and I had to slowly grow into this conviction, I know now that I’m completely at peace, doing what I need to do, being where God wants me to be – with my children. Q: All of your children suffer from Atopic Eczema (an inflamed skin condition, causing itching and at times skin rupture). What is your attitude towards this struggle and others that your family goes through? Dr. Manoj: It is tough. Every night, Lovely gets up at least 4 times in the night to attend to one child or the other when they wake up due to the itching sensation. This has been our routine for more than ten years. At times when the pain becomes unbearable for the children and they ask, “Why does the Lord allow this in my life?” it gets to my heart and then I lean on Jesus and feel rested. To their question, “Why me?” we answer, “Because you can”. We know that God is aware and this is His plan for our lives. In fact if you look in my heart you will not find a big prayer for healing. We believe and take joy in that this is an opportunity for us to carry the cross of Jesus. The children are also very positive about it. Lovely: More than praying for healing, we teach our children to offer up their illness and pray for other children who suffer more than them. We are always there to lift them up, to empower them with affirmation and love to face the situation, to help them appreciate what thay have and accept themselves as they are, glorify God with their lives. Q: Lovely, how do you manage such a big family, with a husband who is fully active in the ministry and his profession? Lovely: I am at peace for I know I am not alone. The Lord is with me. That does not mean that I don't get frustrated, for at times, I do. But over and above that I know Manoj is doing his best to live the life of his calling professionally, spiritually and in every way. And even when he is away, he is always there for the children and me. That is an inspiration for me to put in my best, taking care of the children and being the home-maker. This is possible because of the grace we receive through the Sacrament of Matrimony. Q: Is there anything you'd like to share with our fellow Jesus Youth? Dr. Manoj & Lovely: First, we must find out what drives our lives. Then, as Jesus Youth, we need to focus on Jesus as the only purpose and driving force of life.
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